Journals and Things

Found one of many journals…I hesitated to open it because I knew exactly what was in it…chronicles of my pregnancy with Josh (I deliberately didn’t do it for Ben, understandably so, but sometimes I wish I had).

Also in that journal were my plans/goals outlined with details and budget for my move to Montego Bay from Kingston…(or maybe, I should say “our”, because I was married then 🙃) I mused on how very different life is now…well, when matched against those plans🙂

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Let me apologize
For loving him and loosing you
For caring too much about him
When he didn’t care about me
For giving him the best of me
And all he did was take everything I had to give

Now he’s gone
Moved on with his past
The same past he lied about to me

So as I look into the mirror
At the beautiful but broken me
I apologize to the reflection
Staring back at me

From this day forward
I promise I will be
A little more thoughtful
Of the girl in the mirror
Who is depending on me



His face glowed when he spoke to her
His eyes sparkled like diamonds
His smile, oh that smile can light up any room
His energy was contagious

His voice was like music
His words like poetry
She trusted them – she trusted him
Her heart smiled when he did

He made her feel like a fresh bloom in spring
He unearth feelings she had buried deep within
Forgotten feelings
He made her feel alive and beautiful again
He watered her soul

She was genuinely happy with him
Her days were brighter
She smiled for no reason
Thoughts of him made her blush

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An Ode to My Wedding Dress (and a message for the girl who will wear it)


Dear Wedding Dress,

The time has come to part ways old friend but, before you go, let me remind you that you are as perfect now as the day I first laid eyes on you, as perfect as the first fit, as perfect as the day I wore you down the aisle.


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For the Love of Friendship


 You usually can’t recall all the people you’ve shared laughs with. But you rarely forget the people you’ve shared your tears with. ” Mya Robarts

Six years ago, my best friend and I were pregnant at the same time, with roughly the same due date(no it wasn’t planned). She had her baby June 21st and I was ecstatic! Soon it would be my turn. Three days later, on June 24th (my mother’s birthday) I had a stillbirth #numb….

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