Six years ago, my best friend and I were pregnant at the same time, with roughly the same due date(no it wasn’t planned). She had her baby June 21st and I was ecstatic! Soon it would be my turn. Three days later, on June 24th (my mother’s birthday) I had a stillbirth #numb….
It was a huge blow. It was the first child for me and my husband…It was the first child for my best friend. How can I be happy for my best friend when she had what I wanted too? She was holding her baby in her arms, I was making cremation arrangements. But it is possible. Truth is, when you truly love and care about someone, the core of that never changes. Even if you have to take a step back for a minute.
Like most things, it’s never about just you, because certainly she must have her own set of emotions to contend with. In addition, the onus is also on the other person (like my friend) to recognise the importance and delicacy of the situation. It’s an extremely delicate balance BUT it’s doable. At the end of the day we are not perfect.
It’s okay to be angry as much as it is okay for the other person to celebrate. You both have the right to exercise the gamut of the emotions that will come with the situation. The mettle of the friendship will be tested that’s for sure. My friend and I “survived” though it wasn’t always easy.
One year later, on the exact date (June 21st) I gave birth to my second son… ALIVE! Now both our sons share the same birthday 🙂
” Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter” – Anon
PhotoCred (top photo): Keisha Miles