This thing called gratitude

Life has been good to me; not perfect, but good. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Through difficulties I’ve built resilience. I’ve seen the face of pain, so I redefined happy.
In my moments of loneliness, I redirect my energies into the things that will make me happy. Switch gears, change focus.

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Journals and Things

Found one of many journals…I hesitated to open it because I knew exactly what was in it…chronicles of my pregnancy with Josh (I deliberately didn’t do it for Ben, understandably so, but sometimes I wish I had).

Also in that journal were my plans/goals outlined with details and budget for my move to Montego Bay from Kingston…(or maybe, I should say “our”, because I was married then 🙃) I mused on how very different life is now…well, when matched against those plans🙂

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Apology

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Let me apologize
For loving him and loosing you
For caring too much about him
When he didn’t care about me
For giving him the best of me
And all he did was take everything I had to give

Now he’s gone
Moved on with his past
The same past he lied about to me

So as I look into the mirror
At the beautiful but broken me
I apologize to the reflection
Staring back at me

From this day forward
I promise I will be
A little more thoughtful
Of the girl in the mirror
Who is depending on me

NAF
©2017

FADING 

His face glowed when he spoke to her
His eyes sparkled like diamonds
His smile, oh that smile can light up any room
His energy was contagious

His voice was like music
His words like poetry
She trusted them – she trusted him
Her heart smiled when he did

He made her feel like a fresh bloom in spring
He unearth feelings she had buried deep within
Forgotten feelings
He made her feel alive and beautiful again
He watered her soul

She was genuinely happy with him
Her days were brighter
She smiled for no reason
Thoughts of him made her blush

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Yearning


I’m yearning for you…
I want you so badly, I can taste you
So often these days my mind will wander
And get lost in thoughts of you…
I know I’m not suppose to

Already my body has its response to your touch
Although its never felt you
It’s not suppose to

Like a breath of fresh air
On a warm summer day
I want you
In a way I am not suppose to

You excite me
Like cold water upon a tired soul
You refresh me

You awaken my soul
Like early morning’s dew
I want you
Even though I am not suppose to

NAF

©2016