The ability to make a check mark on your ‘bucket list’ is a good thing, right? Then, why is she not feeling so ‘good’ about it? What’s on said bucket list you ask? Let’s back up a few days.
In a conversation with a friend she casually shared that she’s never had a ‘fling’ or a ‘one night stand’ or slept with a guy on the first date. “Maybe I should add it to my ‘bucket list’ ” she joked. To which, her friend said ” Yeah right! that’s so not you”. The conversation was soon forgotten – well, that is, until now, when the feeling in the pit of her stomach is quite unsettling and the conversation has come back to haunt her. They say, ‘be careful what you wish for, you just might get it’ – pity they didn’t say just what ‘getting it’ meant.
Ever heard of the ‘date’, which wasn’t really a ‘date’ but two friends (make that acquaintances) “hanging out”? – well, you will hear about it now. She mutually agreed with an acquaintance to “hang out” together at a Music Festival – no big deal. Just two grown people enjoying good music, some food and each other’s company (check). Easy, seamless conversation, a little bit of causal touching here and there (you can touch casually can’t you?), throw in a few laughs, some teasing and voila! the evening is a success (check). All that’s left is to bid each other adieu say politely you had a good night, share a hug and go your separate ways (uncheck). This is where the story gets interesting – no, wait…this is where you choose ‘alternate ending’ at the end of the DVD.
What do you do when a guy is too tired to drive more than 2 hours distance? Agree to let him crash at your place of course! Afterall, it’s a house full of people, what could possibly happen? – WRONG again! (I think she missed a few classes on the subject). Okay, so they get to the house, showers are had, tea is made – naturally! That’s what you do when you unwind – share a cup of tea (some people have crumpets – but I digress) and chat until the wee hours of the morning (check). Sharing tea, cuddled in bed is not the norm though is it? – So that was a bad idea huh? (maybe)
Somehow his head was in her lap, the conversation slowed in the now dark room and cuddling seem so normal – oh wait! Dark room? When did the lights go out? When were the tea cups put away? She missed a scene….(never mind she’ll catch up later) For now, she needed to focus because his hands made gentle caresses on her back and down her thighs and back again….the small voice in her head says, ‘now is a good time to say good night’ but NO! The feel, the touch held her captive – Of course it would, she hadn’t been with a man for (never mind, that’s embarrassing to say out loud) – just say it’s been too long. And then came the kiss on the nape of the neck (Holy Mother Theresa) and there goes the little voice again (shut up will you?!!). When he turned her to face him and their lips melt into a kiss, the kind that sends tingles up your spine (little voice again) – tongues danced to a tune that only they understood, hands roved to places – well, places left untouched for too long. Maybe it was the comfort of being in a man’s arms, the feel of a man (tender but strong), whatever it was there was no turning back now…
DId she mention the mastery of his gifted fingers? OMG! Where did he learn that art? Clearly he has honed that craft to perfection because those fingers got her to an O effortlessly – there was one and then another – no way! By now, she was liquid with desire to have him inside her. When he entered her (no, make that, when she slid on his shaft) – GASP! – pleasure so intense it’s sinful! (maybe not the right choice of word here) BUT hot damn! He’s packing alright and God help her, he knows how to use it! The movements so fluid and smooth like they’ve done this dance together before – and why was it feeling so much like ‘lovemaking’ and not ‘sex on the first date’? (oh wait, let’s not spoil the moment). Sensual and passionate! (Really? this happens to people without emotional attachment?). Positions change, bodies shift – she climaxes AGAIN and when he could hold his no longer – he asked her if he could come – and come he did! She never reveled in the aftermath though cause something (maybe that voice again) told her to make a hasty retreat.
So what’s the problem you ask? Wasn’t this on her ‘bucket list’ ?(by some strange default convo yes). Why did she fear seeing him the next morning? And why when she heard an engine turn over, her heart raced (almost panicked) and she hastened to see if he had left without saying goodbye? Her heart semi-settled and a smile of relief graced her lips when she realized he was still in the next room – asleep. She leaned against the door frame and watched him for a moment before quickly retreating to her room for fear that he’ll see her (why is she watching him sleep anyway?)
So she never had that “morning after” experience – well, she isn’t sure she did – he was gone soon after waking up (so that breakfast the morning after is for movies huh?) She isn’t sure what to feel and there is an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. There was no “I’ll see you soon” or promises of tomorrow.
When she went to “his room” to straighten up, she almost expected to see money on the table (Dear God, what has she done?). Her emotions swing from “hot damn” to “OMG I didn’t”. He handles this better than her, that’s for sure – no shift in his emotions. He went back to his straightforward (almost business-like), no nonsense demeanour. Mr. Sensually Passionate was gone! He’s the quintessential paradox! BUT he’s still talking to her (several times since) that should be a good sign, shouldn’t it?